Monday, November 2, 2009

Maddie's Birthday Bash

My friend Maddie turned 21 today, which means she is 21 times cooler than a baby. Because you increase in coolness yearly. And babies' section of the brain that controls coolness just isn't very well developed. It hit me earlier how old I feel, having a friend who can buy booze and all. Crazy.

Anyway, it has been a few days since I've been able to write on here, so it feels good to be back on track! As you know, we hit up the peanut festival in Dothan, Alabama this weekend. It was a really great weekend. I didn't really meet any of my goals:
1. They did have an extremely large, fake peanut, so we got a picture with it. Wasn't able to steal it.
2. Turns out there were only two kinds of peanuts there: raw and boiled. Both were pretty good.
3. Nobody really knew the line from Princess Bride. Ummm what kind of immature bed-wetters haven't seen that movie?

We spent halloween touring Dothan and handing out candy to greedy, cavity seeking youngsters. My 20 year old friend thought it was socially acceptable for her to go trick-or-treating so we walked around the neighborhood with her as she attempted to blend in. She's 20. But she had a very nice surgeon costume, so that was cool. She ended the evening with a wardrobe malfunction that involved her scrubs falling down right as we opened the door for all the little trick-or-treaters to see. So hilarious, I wish I had it on video. That would be embarrassing. Oh yeah, and she's 20.

Me and my friend Tyler saw Mute Math in concert tonight. Front row. We touched the lead singer's hand and got to play this weird electronic instrument he passed out into the crowd. Makes me want to tour with a band. They melted my face and now it's dripping on my laptop. Ew.

I don't know if you care, but this particular package of Tropical Trail Mix™ has been extremely heavy on the banana chips. I'm like, "Okay, I get it, it's a banana that's crunchy, you made you're point with the first 13 I ate in like 4 handfulls. Let's get on to some dried pineapple and papaya." This is my life.

Okay, let's talk about relationships (dating). 3 words: recipe for disaster. *Note to the parents - I haven't been secretly dating anyone. But seriously, as someone who has had very little success in this department, let me make a proposal: Everybody tape a list of people they would like to date to the back of their shirts and just walk around like that. That way when you're walking to class or in line at the caf and you see your name on the back of some cutie's shirt you can just be like, "Hey, that's perfect, you're on my list too! We should date each other." See how easy that was? That way you don't have to worry about rejection, just inclusion onto a list. I know I don't exactly sound like a romantic, but do you really want me to have to work up the courage to put myself out there, get rejected and then spend the following months nursing my ego so I can repeat the process? Mmmm, do you think you could individually pluck all my leg hairs out while you're at it? No thanks, I'll keep my leg hairs and remain single. Unless you put my name on your shirt.

Just kidding, I'll probably ask someone out soon.

-Joshua


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