Thursday, October 29, 2009

Go Bananas!

Today has been an extremely long and tiring day. However, I promised positivity, and I have plenty to be positive about, so here goes:

My band Go Bananas! got to play a show tonight... It was just so fun, and I love all the guys a lot, they're the bomb. There was a pretty good turnout, so that was exciting. We like to keep it fresh when we're on stage. Here's a couple ideas I thought of to make our show stand out:

1. Buy a giant live fish and have it flop around on stage.
2. Hire a belly dancer to perform during all of our songs.
3. Make each band member perform blind folded for the entire show.
4. Remove the first letter of every word each time we spoke... "Ey, e're alled o ananas, hank ou o uch or oming o ur how. Ou ll ook eautiful." Literally. The worst idea ever.
5. Burning several Nickelback albums on stage - actually a pretty good idea.
6. Removing one article of clothing between each song. Maybe at a future show.
7. Cutting out a pumpkin pinata and wearing it on my head - oh wait, did that.

Needless to say, with this kind of brain power, our show was guaranteed to be great. Unfortunately these two jokers named Audrey and Emily kept referring to our band as "The Banana Hammocks" providing people with a rough mental image of men's underwear with a bikini cut. Real mature.

Sometimes I randomly think of my family and I'm overwhelmed with feelings of love and gratitude. It came over me earlier and I felt I should drive back to Kentucky, fall at my family's feet and thank them for their amazing love and encouragement and patience over the years. Instead I'm writing about it on here, which is a little sad, but I hope you guys read this and know how much I love you. You're all the personification of grace in my life and the thing I am most thankful for always. When I think of how you guys generously look out for my needs I seriously want to cry all different kinds of tears.

Before I really do cry, I'm going to go ahead and reel this post back in. I'm headed to Dothan, AL for the annual Peanut Festival tomorrow and man oh MAN am I excited!!! It's going to be so fun. My goal is threefold: 1. Find the world's largest peanut and smuggle it back to Samford in order to bring more tourism to campus, thus boosting Birmingham's suffering peanut economy. 2. Taste at least 25 different flavor peanuts. 3. Slip the following Princess Bride quote into as many conversations as possible: "No more rhymes and I mean it!"
"Anybody want a peanut?"

On that same note, my hometown, Lexington, KY is actually the peanut butter capital of the world. Just a fun fact. You get those for free with this blog.

I think that's probably enough. I'll try to be funnier in future posts, but I think this was very positive overall. I'm continually praying for a more thankful heart.

-Joshua

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

That baby can dance

Okay, so I started writing about my day and how we had a big Freshman party at a rollerskating rink. It was going to be really boring and then Laufy, my friend back home, told me to watch this video and man, it has rocked my night: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-gj8_2FtVA

I mean, wow. How old is this baby, like 4 months? That baby has the brain and motor skills of a 23 year old man or woman, depending on which sex he or she actually is. I would say the odds of this baby being famous some day are about 85%. The odds of he/she having a normal sized belly are low, but the talent is there. That was mean, I'm sorry. But wow.

While watching that, Laufy reminded me that I should also take a look at this much shorter clip which I hadn't seen in a while: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePNWCniwgfo

It's just so hard to decide what's funniest about this. I think the fact that she thinks she's somehow being funny dancing around in a clown mask is what does it for me. "You think you're funny lady? Bam! You just hit your head on a TV, how's that for comedy?".
Again, I'm being so harsh but I mean these people put this stuff on youtube, so I think it's okay. I promise my next post will be more positive.

I would like to add that I brought candy to a study group today thinking that I would be Mr. Nice Guy and make the two people like me, then I got there and realized they were being really studious so I hid all the candy in my backpack so they wouldn't think I was childish. I'm amazed at how timid I am sometimes.

Sorry, this post got long. Hi mom, love you.

-Joshua

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

It's too late to try to be funny

It's 2 AM... I am not in a good mood and I'm about to go to sleep. I'm going to list some words/objects I see on my desk and then try to arrange them in a funny way.

life savers
keys
skull candy headphones
fake glasses
scotch tape
pens
orbit gum
dum dums

- "Give me back my skull, dum dum!"
"Nope, finders key-pers!"
- "So Sandra, my secretary, hands me a fake scotch and I'm like, 'Do I look like a dum dum? Go get me some candy before I steal all your pens and send them into orbit with my gum headphones!'".

- "Hey, nice fake glasses".

I realized about 2 minutes after starting that this was a disastrous idea, but I was already in too deep. I'm going to bed now and I'm in a slightly better mood.

-Joshua

Monday, October 26, 2009

Hanson/Public Safety Save The Day

Today Hanson came to Samford supporting the TOMS shoe cause. It was kind of cool. They walked a mile around campus barefoot and the middle Hanson talked into a megaphone for like two hours about "really taking action" and making a difference. Old Hanson also had a megaphone and young Hanson video taped the entire event without saying a word. Between the three of them there were about 29 pounds of hair on their heads. They played a couple songs and when a small crowd started chanting "MMMBOP, MMMBOP" the middle one got really defensive and they didn't play it.

Then somebody stole something from the bookstore and ran over a public safety guy who then shot the guy's tire out. Pretty intense.

So who's the true hero? The one hit wonder band with lots of hair, or the injured public safety officer? Neither. It's the food court workers for providing me with endless amounts of Chik-Fil-A sauce. Thanks guys...

-Joshua

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Yes. Good? Okay.

Hey world, 3 things -

1. I need inspiration
2. I need to think
3. I need to express

I'm going to write things on here with the hope of flooding my dry sometimes lackluster life. I'm not a creative person, so hopefully these will be real short. Hey Wambles and Tyler. And Tyler.

I'd like to open by saying that you should definitely go see that new movie 'Constipated'.
... oh wait, you can't, it hasn't come out yet.

-Joshua