Friday, June 18, 2010

Carrie Underwood VS. Lady GaGa

Well hello world, here we are again.

Welcome to my blog. I don't know how you got here, but consider yourself lucky because this is a very special place. Haha gosh, I already don't know what I'm talking about. I think it's because I'm not on my normal love seat. For those of you who have read this in the past you know that this is a DISASTER. Basically like taping Superman onto a couch made of kryptonite. That's how crippled I am by not sitting on my love seat. Krypled. DANG has someone already thought of that? That's ingenious. Maybe that's the whole origin of the word kryptonite. Oh well, krypled.

This summer has been pretty great so far. I have 3 little baby part-time jobs that are all kind of funny. I'll go ahead and lay them out for you:

Job #1 - TIKI Zone

Position: Assistant to the TIKI Main Man (<- Yes, real title)

Description: Wrapping endless hotdogs, selling ring pops to kids, listening to awkward comments about soccer moms, and just being generally embarrassed. Also trying to hide my partial colorblindness when kids ask for orange or purple popsicles.

Job #2 - Pulmonary Associates

Position: Paper Cut Receiver/Youngster Nurses Mess With

Description: Filing things until letters and words no longer have meaning, finding appropriate ways to respond to nurses' teasing. Doing things over and over again. It never stops.

Job #3 - Bluegrass Beat (by far the most fun)

Position: DJ Roadie/Beat Dropper in Training

Description: Helping set things up, going through the buffet line multiple times, watching the singles get tipsy and dance.

I hope everyone enjoyed that. I think that was the easiest way to quickly fill you all in on my summer. It really has been fun for the most part.

Some of the conversations I get to hear at these jobs are so amazing. I would love to tell them all, but out of respect for my co-workers I'll only share three:

"I feel like freaking Sh*t. My a** is killing me. I need to sit on a donut."

- "Aw crap, we just gave that girl a frozen hot dog."
- "It's cool, I think she ordered the hot dogsicle."

"That's why I like Carrie, she's classy, not like Lady GaGa, wearin' all that filthy matrix stuff."

Those really might not even be funny you peeps, but when I hear these things I just feel like they have to be repeated so I can remember them.

I've been spending a lot of time in our new studio room in the basement which is so amazing (good work parents). If you want to hear my music you should go here!

I really like this quote I saw today: "The deeper the water, the less noise it makes."
Chew on that.

If I had to bathe in something that wasn't water, it would probably be either Jell-O™ or apple cider. I know that sounds awful, but give that some thought - what wouldn't be gross to bathe in? All you smarty pants people are probably like "Liquid soap, DUH!" and do you know what I have to say to that? That would be unpleasant. And it would sting your eyes a lot. Plus, I would use soap once I was in the Jell-O™ or apple cider so lets just go ahead and take soap products out of the list of options. Oh what's that you say? You want something that's not sticky to bathe in?? GREAT IDEA! Now name something that's not water that won't be sticky. Butter or Vaseline? Yeah, good call. Have fun with your gross slippery butter bath while I smell like either Wild Watermelon™ or fresh apples.

Welp, that was weird.



  1. Josh. I feel like we need to debrief after each of your work days so I can hear more of the conversations without respect to your coworkers. haha.